i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
