Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Let's get the cat blown out
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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