its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
