he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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