Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
