Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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