And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
