i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
