just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i drank out of a bidet.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
