Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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