Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
