for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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