1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
