That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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