what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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