At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
