I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
