just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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