belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
