she was so not down for the gang bang
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
