ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
