My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
