I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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