I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
