do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
