:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
