Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
