I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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