Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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