He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I have feelings that need drinking.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
