Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
