Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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