Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
