What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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