she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dignity is for republicans.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We talked him into tasing himself.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
