oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I CAN MOONWALK!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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