whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
