he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
