idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He has the fingertips of a God
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
