hotel room ftw
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
