Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
