You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
