someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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