I cockslap morals
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize