I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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