I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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