Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
only you would photoshop your dick
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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