i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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