you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize