I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
