I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
