He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
