this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
