3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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