Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I can text with my tongue
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
